At This Year's Passover Sedar

This spring we have an article by JCADA board member Rabbi Michael J. Safra, Rabbi of B’nai Israel Congregation, Rockville, MD. The article highlights the parallels between Passover’s theme of freedom and JCADA’s mission to feel free, especially in our own homes.  Please consider including Rabbi’s Safra’s words in your sedar.  We wish you all a happy, healthy, and safe Passover. 

From the Haggadah:

וַנִּצְעַק אֶל ה' אֳלֹהֵי אֲבֹתֵינוּ, וַיִּשְׁמַע ה' אֶת קֹלֵנוּ, וַיָרְא אֶת עָנְיֵנוּ וְאֶת עֲמָלֵנוּ וְאֶת לַחֲצֵנוּ. 
We cried out to Adonai, the Lord of our fathers, and Adonai heard our plea and saw our plight, our misery, and our oppression (Deuteronomy 26:7).

Commentary from the Haggadah:

וַיַּרְא אֶת עָנְיֵנוּ - זוֹ פְּרִישׁוּת דֶּרֶךְ אֶרֶץ, כְּמָה שֶׁנאמר: וַיַרְא אֱלֹהִים אֶת בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל וַיֵדָע אֱלֹהִים.

And saw our plight, This is the cessation of family life, as it is said: “the Lord looked upon the Israelites, and the Lord took notice of (lit. knew) them” (Exodus 2:24).

According to Rabbinic Midrash, the Egyptians attempted to demoralize the Israelites by disrupting family life. One legend posits that Amram, Moses’s father, became so overburdened by the work as a slave and the decrees of the Egyptian Pharaoh that he divorced his wife, Yocheved. Miriam ultimately convinced her father to reconcile with Yocheved. Their renewed relationship brought about the birth of Moses and ultimately saved the Jewish people (Talmud Sotah 12a). Another legend suggests that the Israelite women helped to overcome Pharaoh’s evil decree by finding their husbands at the end of each long day of work, preparing romantic meals, and creating an intimate environment (Talmud Sotah 11a).

These legends are the product of a different era, incorporating gender norms far different from our own. But they speak to the power of shalom bayit, peace in the home. The disruption of family life by the Egyptians threatened to destroy our people. The determination to build peaceful homes and to nurture the family “against all odds” ultimately enabled this small band of slaves to topple the brutal, powerful Egyptian regime.

Tragically, today there are families for whom the idea of shalom bayit has been compromised by domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is a pattern of physically, sexually, verbally, financially and/or emotionally abusive or controlling behavior in a relationship. Abusers threaten their victims and disrupt the tranquility, predictability, and safety that are supposed to be the hallmark of family life.

Passover is an opportunity to renew our commitment to help individuals who are enslaved by the horrors of abuse. We, as a Jewish community, have a responsibility to show victims that they are not alone. JCADA provides counseling and resources to empower victims of abuse, to help them respond to their situations, and most importantly, help ensure their safety. We have an added obligation to educate our children and community about the characteristics of healthy relationships. We cannot ignore the reality of this enslavement; there are things we can do and must do, for the survival of the physical and spiritual well-being of the victims in our community.

May the haggadah’s words of hope be heard by all victims of abuse:

הָשַׁתָּא עַבְדֵי, לְשָׁנָה הַבָּאָה בְּנֵי חוֹרִין

This year you are slaves; next year may you be free.”