Domestic Abuse in the LGBT Community

By Claire Bernstein, JCADA Intern 

According to a recent study published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 1 in 3 heterosexual women, 1 in 3 lesbian women, and 1 in 2 bisexual women have been physically or emotionally abused by an intimate partner. In addition, this study found that 1 in 4 men, regardless of sexual orientation, have experienced violence by an intimate partner. Results from this comprehensive study on sexual violence, intimate partner violence, and stalking remind us that violence is an issue across all sexual orientations and is not limited to specific types of relationships.

Recently, I participated in a webinar hosted by the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and the Northwest Network for domestic violence prevention organizations and advocates. The goal of this presentation was to teach community members about the implications of these study findings and how to better serve people in the LGBT community who are also victims of domestic violence. Here are some of the questions that this webinar raised as well as a few answers:

·         How many of us have seen examples of positive and healthy relationships in the media? Does the media promote healthy same-sex relationships?

o   The media often sensationalizes unhealthy relationships and likes to show the negative interactions between couples. But if we only see examples of unhealthy relationships, how do we learn what a healthy relationship is?

o   The Northwest Network found that many LGBT victims of domestic violence said no one ever told them how to have a healthy relationship. Many people in the LGBT community do not have other couples to look up to, which may make applying the general concepts of respect, trust, and support more challenging. Not knowing what is acceptable in a relationship increases the risk of violence.

·         Although the rates of violence are similar across sexual orientations, are there additional challenges for partners in same sex relationships experiencing domestic violence?

Lambda GLBT Community Services has found that:

o   Abusers in the LGBT community may manipulate their partners using threats of “outing” or exposing their partner’s sexual orientation to friends and family members.

o   Victims of violence in LGBT community may feel extremely isolated, especially if they were already experiencing isolation by family members or friends who are not supportive of their sexual orientation.

o   A LGBT victim may have a more difficult time leaving their abusive partner because they share many of the same friends and are afraid they will lose their support from the LGBT community if they leave their partner.

o   Legal issues for the LGBT community, including court protection and custody of children, can prevent a victim from leaving an abusive relationship.

·         What factors create an environment that condones violence in same-sex relationships?

o   Cultural norms influence the way we think about interpersonal violence. Many of us have heard the phrase “boys will be boys” in reference to brothers or male friends fighting with one another. But, this concept, when applied to actions between partners, minimizes the seriousness of abuse in gay couples.

o   Oppression, especially in the LGBT community, influences our relationships and communities. Because many members of the LGBT community are not given the same rights as other communities, LGBT victims of domestic violence may not believe that they deserve a healthy relationship and one free from violence.

o   The media often emphasizes unhealthy relationships in the LGBT community instead of showing disapproval for violence in relationships.

·         How can our community do a better job of supporting LGBT individuals who are victims of domestic violence?

o   Creating better legal protections and minimizing discrimination will increase LGBT victims’ ability to utilize community resources. Many LGBT victims of violence are afraid to seek help because of prior negative experiences with community resources, so we should make a conscious effort to reach out to the LGBT community.

o   Organizations and resources can specifically promote same-sex relationships using inclusive language. Using inclusive language can encourage people in the LGBT community to get help.

o   Community members and organizations can connect with local and national LGBT organizations to better understand and serve the needs of the LGBT community.

We encourage you to think about these questions and how our society views domestic abuse across all sexual orientations. Hopefully these questions will help you think about the steps we can take to better support all our community members.  JCADA is here to help any victim of sexual violence or domestic abuse and encourages anyone who is struggling with these issues to call our helpline at 1-877-88-JCADA(52232).